She knew
She snapped back. Back to where she was. The main room of the funeral service. She didn’t really wanted to be there. It was strange for her, as she only meet the deceased less then half a dozen times. She was only here for him, as the decreased was very close to him. Just then, she saw him walk out of the room on the corner of her eye.
She turned, & her eye followed where he was going. He’d walked towards the main door. He opened it, walk though slowly, and then close it on the other side with a gentle push.
She knew that this was getting to be too much for him, so she followed. Upon opening the door, she sees him sitting down on the steps just metres away. Noticing that he took off his glasses, & had his hand on his head, arm resting on his legs. Looking towards the afternoon sunset she thought.
She finally said something
‘Had to get out of there too, huh?’
‘Yeah.’
She heard him replying lightly, wanting to comfort him so she sat down next to him. Didn’t know what to say, so she thought she’d describe the mood of the service.
‘It’s terrible in there.’
He looked at her, and then he said, ‘I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say to those people.’
She could see that this was not the same man as he was before all this. It was those sad eyes he’d had. Even behind the glasses she could always still tell how he was. She could tell that his changed from all this, he was no longer the joyful person she’s once known. She feels that he’d been stripped, first from the terminal, now the lost. Feeling that he is sadden by talk about the funeral, she decided to change the subject.
‘So, um…’ She felt uneasy as to what to say, ‘How long are you going to be in town for?
‘I’m not sure yet.’ He exchanged, by now she noticed that his head was looking down at the steps, ‘Probably not long.’
She needed something else, she was just trying to get him to have a normal conversation with her. She thought this would take his mind off today, at least for the time being anyways. She looked at him again. Noticing he’d shaved hair bold. Maybe because he wanted to feel closer with the deceased? Nevertheless, she thought the lack of hair looked good on him. So she finally started, ‘ You know, you look ok without the hair.’ She’d reached out her hand to pat him on the shoulder.
‘Sure.’ He said sharply. She stoped her hand, & placed it back to it’s original place, on her lap. She noticed that he had a rather mad look on him. Thinking she can’t do anything else to comfort him, she stood up then said,
‘I suppose I’d better be heading back in there.’ She turned around & headed towards the double doors she walked though not too long ago.
‘I was too late.’ She then heard him remark.
She turned around, and then asked, ‘What?’
He didn’t turn around to look at her. Instead his was looking toward the Sunset.
‘I came back a day too late. If I had just…’
Still standing, she continues to look down at him. She didn’t know what to say, or what to do, as she had never lost a close person in her life before. Not to cancer nevertheless. Though she was feeling that she was losing him. As he was in agony & she wanted to comfort him.
‘..We hadn’t talked much in the past couple of months.’ He continued. ‘I was just so scared you know? I didn’t know what to do.’
He paused & looked down on his opened palm, then finally said. ‘So I did nothing.’
She begins to sit down next to him again.
‘I wasn’t there for her where she needed me the most.’ He expressed. ‘I never told her how I really felt about her.’ She see that he was looking at her now. ‘And now…’
She looked back at him, wordless from his response. She knew that, this was the first step for him stepping out of the hole his been in. She knew that right now needed a hug. So she hugged him.
‘She knew, you know.’ She softly said. ‘She knew.’
The man, who had just lost his mother to cancer, replied
‘Yeah.’
